Attempt at combat...

It might be common knowledge to most people by now, but we as girls have a tendency to need to group up to do things. If you don't believe me just notice the next time you go to a movie or a meal with a group of ladies. I can almost guarantee that we will visit the bathroom in a cluster. It isn't that we fear danger lurks in the public restroom facilities or even that it is necessary to have two or more girls to be successful in the restroom. It is more (as far as i can understand) an unspoken rule in the book of life known as I am Girl. Suggestion to the wise: don't question it because you will more than likely receive an unsatisfying reason that makes the thought that you just wasted your breath quite frustrating.

All that to say, I know that I too am a participant of this unspoken rule. Therefore, i tried to combat the need for a cluster of girls by going to a movie, in the theater (i will proudly add), by MYSELF. I know this seems ridiculous and even unheard of, but be assured that i went to great lengths to make sure i didn't fail on my first attempt at combat. I made sure to go to a movie and time that would warrant the fewest amount of people.

Before you start judging me about the fact that in bathrooms i want to be surrounded by girls, but in movies i would rather be by myself, let me explain: In my mind, when there comes a time where i am forced or (in my case) choose to be by myself, i would like the fewest amount of people (especially girls) to see me. When a lone female is spotted by girl clusters, you can bet that she is being judged by the unspoken rules of the book stated earlier. I don't want to be a disappointment. Therefore, the fewer the better.

Now that we are all on the same page once again, please continue with me. Along with going at a time with few people, i also tried to make sure i was a little late. Tried being the operative word in this case. Because to my dismay, the movie started 10 minutes later than i thought it did. Therefore, instead of being late, i was 5 minutes early. This equaled 5 minutes of me sitting in the dead center of the movie theater shifting at every sound of potential movie goers coming to join me. Luckily, these days movie theaters put advertisements as well as trivia questions on the screen for those that get there early and have nothing and no one to keep them occupied until the movie starts. I continually checked my watch. I was down to 1 min before the movie started when 3 high school boys walked in.

Picture this scene: Me sitting in the dead center of the theater (by myself, may i remind you) staring as the screen replays the cycle of ads and trivia. They walk in and look around the theater and comment: "wow, busy theater. We should probably sit right in front of the only person in here." (i want you to notice the word "only". Yes, i was the only person in there, but knowing that fact and hearing someone else acknowledge it creates completely different emotions in me. Needless to say, it wasn't a positive feeling). I tried to play it cool (cause i kept telling myself that it was cool to go to a movie by yourself) by saying: "That is fine, but i am not going to move my feet." They proceeded to sit in the exact row behind my head. I feel this was done on purpose. (What purpose, i have no idea. I could never admit to trying to understand the mind of a high school boy). A few more couples (sad) came into the theater in the remaining minute and then the movie started.

I had been waiting for this moment since i walked into the theater. I thought that the movie starting and the lights dimming would make everything okay. However, i suddenly noticed the fear i had to move. For some reason, the fact that people were directly behind my head made me not want to move any part of my body for fear of judgement.

Yes, i do realize how dumb it is to think that. However, at the time it was a quite logical response to the situation. I really don't want to be judged right now by you, the reader, either!

So the movie played and finished with little movement or readjustment from me. The lights went up and the credits started to role. Now the fear of leaving and everyone else (besides the three high school boys) knowing i came by myself hit me. So i stayed in my seat pretending like i really wanted to see who wrote the music in the movie (that is always the last thing in the credits). I even moved to the edge of my seat a little to make my interest in the credits more believable. Finally, i got up and left the theater when i deemed it "safe". After reaching my car, i analyzed the situation to myself (because remember, i was alone). I can say, that i did feel a little bit of success, but it hadn't quite hit me yet.

I later looked back on my experience. I broke the unspoken rule in this situation. I mean, who wouldn't feel a sense of accomplishment after that. However, i will freely admit that i did it once and don't plan on doing it again any time soon. All i can say is i did it and it

...Was successful.

This day is...

I don't know about you, but weather has a huge affect on my willingness to want to do things. Therefore, today I woke up without the bright ray of sun peering in through my corner window. I rolled out of bed and looked in the mirror. Needless to say, I felt exactly like this:
This is my neighbors cat. Poor thing! Although it has a lovely rhinestone in crested collar, it has next to no back fur! Yes, this is how I felt.



I tried to battle the weather by making everything an adventure this morning. Don't ask, it is just a little game I often play with myself in an attempt to trick my mind into thinking that everything is so much fun.

It wasn't until i went home for lunch and I looked out the window that let me down this morning, that i actually realized how beautiful and wonderful of a day today is. Right out my corner window are these:

I have affectionately entitled them "the most whimsical plant/flower that I have known"


Some might argue that i should have been able to realize and appreciate this day by the sheer fact that I woke up and didn't have to think about breathing. This is very true, but some days I feel that I just need a bit of a kick to the senses.



... oh so wonderful

Simply Lovely

Last week in my constant travel, I attempted to have the most wonderful day. Now that doesn't mean that it has outshined past days, but I just wanted to take a day and make sure every part of it was lovely...this is what came out:

X I ate lunch by myself and didn't have anything on my table to keep me busy. I simple looked people in the eyes and smiled and looked up and around at all the things that surrounded me!

X I wore a light scarf and enjoyed every second of the wind that blew it into my face, eyes and around my head

X I allowed my mind to fantisize about the idea of owning a flower and pie shop called Petals and Pies

X I tried to smile at every single person that looked at me

X I filled my day with all things green: Green scarf, green shoes, green bag, green starbcks drink

X I saw the Waco Waver (a homeless man that walks around Waco all day everyday and just waves to everything that he sees with a huge smile on his face) It makes me smile just thinking about it

These were just a few things that filled my lovely day. I feel like the loveliest part was knowing that I have a Captivating God that prepared all of those things for me to enjoy that day because He longs for me to be captivated by Him. :)

Simply Lovely.