I HATE...

You know something is wrong when your heart starts pounding for no apparent reason, or at least you think. "Why is it doing this?" is one of the first questions that runs through my mind. This question is quickly answered with a quick glance towards the floor where my feet are happily resting. A rather large black object is hustling across the floor right near my feet. The only acceptable and understandable reaction is to jump towards clearer grounds-literally:

Just five minutes ago, while trying to be studious (didn't happen), I noticed this black object out of the corner of my eye. Yes, it was a roach...bah huhuh. I quickly jumped from my seat at the table and climbed onto the farthest chair with a whinny shriek. I hate few things as much as I do roaches. Call me superficial, but I think their ugliness unnerves me.

***I really can't help my reactions to the situation. At one point in my life, I wondered if I often overreacted to roaches because there were people around. However, after just one roach experience by myself, I realized this was not the case.***

My experience just now was no different. I was sitting at the table all alone waiting for my parents to come home when I saw it. It was crawling between me and any form of defense (besides distance) that I could have. Strangely I wasn't able to control the stream of words that escaped my mouth. Words like "no (several times)" and "Come on (pleading with the roach does nothing, let me tell you)" and "mom (who wasn't home yet, may I remind you)"

I, in a mortified state, watched (while doing a frightened dance- a cross between "I have to go to the bathroom" and marching) as it crawled toward my bedroom. "How am I going to sleep tonight knowing that it is maybe journeying to see its family?" Finally, in a flurry of adrenaline, I was able to grab the broom out of the closet. This action was brave in and of itself. The roach was guarding the closet. With a "uh no no no" I feebly lowered the broom onto the devil of the insect world. When my attempt, weak from fear and mortification, didn't do anything, I tried a second time. This time, I held control of myself briefly enough to knock the thing on its back and into the bathroom across the hall from my bedroom. "That would do until mom got home, ehh, I hope."

I anxiously skip-jumped back to the table with my computer to start this account, but quickly had to stop. My hands were shaking and my mind was racing so fast that I couldn't type. Finally, I began to write what you have, to this point, read. My mom came home and found the roach angrily crawling toward my room. Luckily she made it in time to save me and my sleep from future harm.

All this might seem to you as a bit of an overreaction, but if you knew the experiences that I have had with roaches, you would more than understand.

I couldn't stomach putting a picture of a real roach here...this is all you will get!

...Roaches burahh huh- gross!!!

Reflections from...

So, this has been an excellent Christmas break. Family, school, new friends, old friends and coffee...well let me just tell you a little about it:

Family time is always good...i was able to experience a lot of that before and during the Christmas week. How lovely it is! I choose not to linger on that because it is always enjoyable.

the following is a list of highlights from the break without lots of description...because that gets old:

1. I spent most of my first week (during the mini) tallying the number of times a fellow student interjected unnecessary stories from his life. Although that seems very pathetic and lame, his number hit 94 by the end of the week. YEAH, I KNOW....WHAT??? I did take the creative liberty to add a few bonus tallies because he cursed in a class presentation and he said that i wasn't important. I totally had the right to do that!!! So this was a student that i had the "delight" of having in my voice and articulation class a year ago. He offered without being asked that i sounded like The Nanny from a TV show in the 90's. Yeah, not a compliment...at all. I guess one could say that i already had a bit of a bias against the nanny man...but can you blame me? No, thanks.

2. I started the following week in a large class (50) that had also decided to take Philippians with me. I got to sit by my one of college long friends. That was quite enjoyable. This experience was elevated by the fact that our Professor was AMAZING. I have come to the conclusion that classes with professors that are extremely intelligent and a bit socially awkward are my FAVORITE. I had many of my friends in the class as well. We were able to talk for many minutes on how much we loved our Professor and how we would like to be able to speak and everything sound like a poem. We often attempted to do that...I have come to the conclusion that only very intelligent and a bit socially awkward Professors are able to do that. (you might be wondering why i continually capitalize "professor"...no it is not because i tend to do things like that on accident, it is more because i feel that our Professor deserves that kind of respect...i mean seriously, everything he said sounded like a poem.)

3. This week was accented by getting to go to lunch every day with good friends and having good conversation. On Friday to end our great week of joy with a bang, my friend (Jason) took me and my other friend (Ally) to his favorite restaurant: Spiral Diner. This just so happens to be a vegan restaurant. Can I say that it was such an exciting time. It seemed like such a different culture! It was so unique and enjoyable to watch those who worked there and those who journeyed there. I couldn't help but notice Jason's posture while we were there...a mix between relaxed and maybe a tinge of pride (in a good way). I got a BBQ sandwich (yes, i know that is a sandwich with meat..but have you already forgotten we were at a vegan dinner?). It was made with wheat protein instead. I very much enjoyed it.

4. Can i take a number (4, to be exact) to talk about the weather on these days? Ok, stellar, thanks! The days this week were so intense and lovely. I believe that this first week of 2009 found incredible joy in being extreme. side note: i believe it was attempting to set the standard for me this year! Day 1: freezing with rain-Day 2: warm and sunny- Day 3: i don't remember, but awesome-Day 4: slightly overcast and a little hot-Day 5: OH GOODNESS...so beautiful, like a painting crossed with purity.

5. Now I sit in Panera Bread with the uniquely beautiful Sara. There aren't many words to describe this time. I am not sure that many things surpass that happiness that i experience while sitting in a coffee shop with good friends and fun.

6. I feel like there are times in my life when the Lord just lavishes joy through things in my life. I am so thankful that this has been one of those times. The beauty of desiring The Savior and being able to see Him in your surroundings! How Glorious!!!

Just because I hate not having a picture to keep readers interested:

...a truly splendid break

I Got Lotta Lotto Love (Sara T.)...

Oh the state fair of Texas. It only comes once a year. I cannot contain the excitement that my heart has for the fair!! I have gone since I was very young. I love the smells, i love the fried food, I love big Tex (even thought he doesn't talk anymore, I don't hold it against him), I love it all. But I can honestly say that my favorite part of the fair is:

***The Paul Adams Game Show***

Some of you noobies might be wondering "Alyssa, what is this game show?" Well, I will tell you. It is the best, free game show that I have ever been a part of. Let me start with back story:

When I was younger, I would always go to the fair with my family. One year my parents and sister and I stumbled on to a loud-talking, big-gesturing, sparkle jacket-wearing man with a microphone. As is common for anyone who spots a Elton John wannabe, we ran to watch. We were quickly enthralled with the sights and the sounds of the Paul Adams Game Show. It is a interactive game show where audience members had a chance to win free Texas Lottery tickets. Well to make a long story short, my dad got on stage and won 10 lottery tickets. Since that day, I have wanted to get on that game show...which leads me to today:

Kent and I have gone to the fair together two years running. Last year we made it to the show and got carded both times. I don't guess we look above 18, but look at us:

I am strong enough to hang onto a giant wood pole and he has a stach. Show me 18 year old that can do that!

Anyway, we never once got on stage. So when this year rolled around, he and i were determined to make it to the stage. We brought my roommates and friends a long too. We had built it up in their minds. The fact is that the game show is as good as you are willing to make it. I guess Kent and I have just made it really GOOD! We get to the show kinda late and therefore sit all over the area. As we are waiting for the show to start, Kent, who is behind me, gets carded. I was stoked, I thought for sure a year had made me finally look my age. However, shortly after, I got carded and Kent got carded a second time (sucka!).

Finally the show starts. Paul comes out in all his glory and the games begin. The second game, Paul goes into the audience and picks random volunteers. Although i was winking at he furiously (joke) he went to the next row and chose Kent!!! I felt as if i had just won the lottery already. He was just picked along with 10 other people to go on stage. From the crowd I gave him hand signals of what he should pick, it didn't work out and he walked away with a lotto ball cap.....that is it. We thought our dreams were over, but least he got onto the stage.

It finally gets to the last game, I knew this because my neighbor told me, and I am just enjoying the experience.

The final game is a game like Deal, Or No Deal. The lady picks a 35 ticket case leaving the 100 up there. Paul in all his brilliance offers to give half the tickets to the audience. The numbers role and without any forethought the number board reads 23

I jumped up and laughed and high-fived and got 50 tickets...f. r. e. e. that spells free, lotto tickets for me baby...Well shortly after, the game was over and perfect strangers were congratulating me. I stood in the street with the tickets and then it hit me: I have no idea what to do with these. Everyone gathered around and tried to explain what to do, but they don't play the lotto either. So i grabbed my neighbor and she showed me how to do it. I won 10 dollars that night (thus why i started typing in green) and around 10-12 lotto tickets for the next day.

I woke up and went to a gas station to see what I won off of those tickets, but after looking inside, i was too embarrassed to go in and ask. So i drove to another gas station and walked in, but then walked right back out because i saw people i knew. So i grabbed 75 cents and bought a newspaper so i could look for myself. I had won 5 more dollar on a bonus ball. However, I was too scared to go redeem the dough, so I gave it to Kent as his cut.

I had won $15 free dollars. There is a wonderful lesson in this though. Out of the 50 one dollar priced tickets, i had only made $15 dollars. Therefore, the lotto is not profitable, but

..From Paul Adams Game Show
it is great!

The act of awaiting the unexpected...

The title says it all for me. Rather than giving a long intro of what I am about to say, I am just going to say it:

I feel that God is preparing to show me something big in regards to my life. God is about to throw me into something completely unexpected and something that I already feel completely unprepared for. I can't explain the feeling I am experiencing currently. I just know that it is a gentle tug on my spirit to be ready and looking.

In the meantime, I am just going to continue in the Love Journey and try to seek God at every turn.

Prayer would be lovely...

Attempt at combat...

It might be common knowledge to most people by now, but we as girls have a tendency to need to group up to do things. If you don't believe me just notice the next time you go to a movie or a meal with a group of ladies. I can almost guarantee that we will visit the bathroom in a cluster. It isn't that we fear danger lurks in the public restroom facilities or even that it is necessary to have two or more girls to be successful in the restroom. It is more (as far as i can understand) an unspoken rule in the book of life known as I am Girl. Suggestion to the wise: don't question it because you will more than likely receive an unsatisfying reason that makes the thought that you just wasted your breath quite frustrating.

All that to say, I know that I too am a participant of this unspoken rule. Therefore, i tried to combat the need for a cluster of girls by going to a movie, in the theater (i will proudly add), by MYSELF. I know this seems ridiculous and even unheard of, but be assured that i went to great lengths to make sure i didn't fail on my first attempt at combat. I made sure to go to a movie and time that would warrant the fewest amount of people.

Before you start judging me about the fact that in bathrooms i want to be surrounded by girls, but in movies i would rather be by myself, let me explain: In my mind, when there comes a time where i am forced or (in my case) choose to be by myself, i would like the fewest amount of people (especially girls) to see me. When a lone female is spotted by girl clusters, you can bet that she is being judged by the unspoken rules of the book stated earlier. I don't want to be a disappointment. Therefore, the fewer the better.

Now that we are all on the same page once again, please continue with me. Along with going at a time with few people, i also tried to make sure i was a little late. Tried being the operative word in this case. Because to my dismay, the movie started 10 minutes later than i thought it did. Therefore, instead of being late, i was 5 minutes early. This equaled 5 minutes of me sitting in the dead center of the movie theater shifting at every sound of potential movie goers coming to join me. Luckily, these days movie theaters put advertisements as well as trivia questions on the screen for those that get there early and have nothing and no one to keep them occupied until the movie starts. I continually checked my watch. I was down to 1 min before the movie started when 3 high school boys walked in.

Picture this scene: Me sitting in the dead center of the theater (by myself, may i remind you) staring as the screen replays the cycle of ads and trivia. They walk in and look around the theater and comment: "wow, busy theater. We should probably sit right in front of the only person in here." (i want you to notice the word "only". Yes, i was the only person in there, but knowing that fact and hearing someone else acknowledge it creates completely different emotions in me. Needless to say, it wasn't a positive feeling). I tried to play it cool (cause i kept telling myself that it was cool to go to a movie by yourself) by saying: "That is fine, but i am not going to move my feet." They proceeded to sit in the exact row behind my head. I feel this was done on purpose. (What purpose, i have no idea. I could never admit to trying to understand the mind of a high school boy). A few more couples (sad) came into the theater in the remaining minute and then the movie started.

I had been waiting for this moment since i walked into the theater. I thought that the movie starting and the lights dimming would make everything okay. However, i suddenly noticed the fear i had to move. For some reason, the fact that people were directly behind my head made me not want to move any part of my body for fear of judgement.

Yes, i do realize how dumb it is to think that. However, at the time it was a quite logical response to the situation. I really don't want to be judged right now by you, the reader, either!

So the movie played and finished with little movement or readjustment from me. The lights went up and the credits started to role. Now the fear of leaving and everyone else (besides the three high school boys) knowing i came by myself hit me. So i stayed in my seat pretending like i really wanted to see who wrote the music in the movie (that is always the last thing in the credits). I even moved to the edge of my seat a little to make my interest in the credits more believable. Finally, i got up and left the theater when i deemed it "safe". After reaching my car, i analyzed the situation to myself (because remember, i was alone). I can say, that i did feel a little bit of success, but it hadn't quite hit me yet.

I later looked back on my experience. I broke the unspoken rule in this situation. I mean, who wouldn't feel a sense of accomplishment after that. However, i will freely admit that i did it once and don't plan on doing it again any time soon. All i can say is i did it and it

...Was successful.

This day is...

I don't know about you, but weather has a huge affect on my willingness to want to do things. Therefore, today I woke up without the bright ray of sun peering in through my corner window. I rolled out of bed and looked in the mirror. Needless to say, I felt exactly like this:
This is my neighbors cat. Poor thing! Although it has a lovely rhinestone in crested collar, it has next to no back fur! Yes, this is how I felt.



I tried to battle the weather by making everything an adventure this morning. Don't ask, it is just a little game I often play with myself in an attempt to trick my mind into thinking that everything is so much fun.

It wasn't until i went home for lunch and I looked out the window that let me down this morning, that i actually realized how beautiful and wonderful of a day today is. Right out my corner window are these:

I have affectionately entitled them "the most whimsical plant/flower that I have known"


Some might argue that i should have been able to realize and appreciate this day by the sheer fact that I woke up and didn't have to think about breathing. This is very true, but some days I feel that I just need a bit of a kick to the senses.



... oh so wonderful

Simply Lovely

Last week in my constant travel, I attempted to have the most wonderful day. Now that doesn't mean that it has outshined past days, but I just wanted to take a day and make sure every part of it was lovely...this is what came out:

X I ate lunch by myself and didn't have anything on my table to keep me busy. I simple looked people in the eyes and smiled and looked up and around at all the things that surrounded me!

X I wore a light scarf and enjoyed every second of the wind that blew it into my face, eyes and around my head

X I allowed my mind to fantisize about the idea of owning a flower and pie shop called Petals and Pies

X I tried to smile at every single person that looked at me

X I filled my day with all things green: Green scarf, green shoes, green bag, green starbcks drink

X I saw the Waco Waver (a homeless man that walks around Waco all day everyday and just waves to everything that he sees with a huge smile on his face) It makes me smile just thinking about it

These were just a few things that filled my lovely day. I feel like the loveliest part was knowing that I have a Captivating God that prepared all of those things for me to enjoy that day because He longs for me to be captivated by Him. :)

Simply Lovely.